An Open Letter to President Xi Jinping of China

From: a typical American

Hey Xi, how’s it hangin? Can I call you Xi? We’ve never met, but I’m just as American as anyone else in America, and I assume you already have your opinion of what we’re like over here.

BTW, I’ll skip this whole *Pandemic unpleasantness* for now. I’m sure that will come up later through one investigation or another…