An Friendly Authoritarian Tale
Merry Christmas, Peasants!
By Santa Klaus
(To be read out loud in a heavy german accent, like Hitler)
Gather round children! I shall tell you the tale of Christmas future.
When I was a young boy in Ravensburg in the motherland, der Führer was in power, and holidays were quite meager. Well, not for all families of course, but for most. Such is the holiday many of you will be partaking in shortly as we enter a time of much-needed change in the world. We must begin from a place of decreased expectations, and though I am in my palace physically, I am with you all in spirit.
When I founded the World Economic Forum, I had a dream of huge aspirations — I had formed my own view of managing the whole world like a finely-tuned machine. I wanted the best of all possible worlds, I was not unlike der Führer in that sense — to have such an enormous vision for how all things should run: like clockwork and with great obedience.
For this special year, in preparation of my Great Reset, many special gifts are coming your way!
Oh, the presents we have in store for you! And I mean all of you! You see that you’ve already received a few gifts a bit early — the new strain of the virus in the United Kingdom, which will surely spread and require stricter lockdowns, or as I like to call it, “more family time”. This staying home saves the earth you know — the pollution has been quite down at such times. This extra family time is coming to your city very soon.
And more gifts are coming to be certain! Some, of course, may be late due to shipping delays. A little humor.
If you’re a good boy or girl, and you always wear your mask and you don’t leave your house if you don’t need to, you might just get some Universal Basic Income! It will be for each country to decide the adequate amount, just be sure to stay on our “good list”. Until of course all borders are removed, then it will be standardized globally.
Some of you still do not understand that the world cannot go on as it is and this is why such a Great Reset is needed. For those who defy the lockdowns, who spread the virus and are responsible for increasing the infections, for those who are trying to keep their small business alive in futility, I say to you — be careful! You are surely on the naughty list. Not only will you forego the basic income, but you’ll get an environmentally-friendly equivalent of a lump of coal in your stockings.
You must understand the world we are trying to create for you, we now have the technologies to see it come to fruition — the Artificial Intelligence is almost ready, the digital grid is being set up as I speak, and you’re already conditioned to trust us with your words and your location. We will run a kind prison state, the exponential number of police won’t hurt anyone… who is behaving.
Why would you want to continue to be burdened by this outdated notion of property ownership? Let us bear that burden for you my children; we have the tools to manage it all so nothing is wasted or sitting idle like a lazy child. There shall be no waste! No idleness! No cars sitting in driveways and parking lots taking up space that could be filled with beautiful trees, fields of flowers, and human-restricted protected areas of biodiversity!
The computer is just so much more efficient than the human being. We will work in tandem with it until it overtakes our own abilities, then we shall let it decide the many things it takes to distribute what is necessary for all people. It is so much easier! I implore you to simply trust the algorithm as it will know best how to plan and distribute global goods and services.
Another present that will be coming over the years is the Smart City, which shall be glorious. Just look to Shenzhen in China! Look at the wonders there! The cameras everywhere know your face and your name, and police are everywhere to keep you safe on those rare times when you leave your apartment. Yes there will be no houses in the city, no single-family homes, they are simply not efficient for space and they must go. By building tall and reasonably-sized apartment buildings, we can ensure housing for all, for this is the price of getting rid of homelessness, and surely you are not against that!
Don’t you see? We don’t have to put up ugly fences and barbed wire, we instead constructed 5G towers as fences, and your new digital wallet will be the barbed wire. And you will get money you need from the IMF, that will not run out, and it will be good for buying all types of food and other consumables — just not property or assets.
Oh and another gift is coming: Jobs! In each country we will be creating a Ministry of Truth, as we transition away from the troublesome free and open Internet of today which is filled with misinformation, this transition will take many human beings to intervene and subdue the inaccurate information being put online, and even be editing and verification of historical news and information is necessary. There is no reason for the children and grandchildren of tomorrow to know how badly the planet was managed in the past! We shall erase the headlines, we shall remove the statues as necessary, and we will give many jobs in doing this. And don’t worry, there will be no need for human judgment calls, and in fact no place for it. We have been carefully compiling a body of verified knowledge that shall act as the truth of all truths to be measured against.
We will be merging the treasuries of the governments, and the central bank balance sheets, in an effort to satisfy the tremendous debts, and you will help with this as well, as it is citizen debt! Under this system, we will graciously forgive the debts you owe, as you submit ownership of all your assets to us as payment for the incredible debts your country has accrued in your name. You are saving the future generations from the burdens of this debt by your heroic and mandatory actions!
Now I must give warning to the troublemakers, the luddites who do not want to trust our wonderful technologies, who do not want to learn how to do these new jobs: living in the smart city will mean access — access to the Internet, access to waste and recycling services, access to the electricity grid. Why would you want to live apart from that?
Such rowdy individuals of course will be gone soon enough, as there are special places for them to live then special programs to undergo. People must stop being so concerned about this outdated idea of “rights“ — there will simply be no place and no need for them when things are properly managed. You will get what you need to have a life and it will be exactingly satisfactory, just as your neighbors.
The biggest gift of all, of course, was the coronavirus, as it is the gift that keeps on giving! It is exactly the golden opportunity we needed to ensure that people live in just enough fear, and are willing to give away just enough privacy to crack open the door to ever-greater centralized control in the coming one world government.
Although I am old, surely I will keep on living, as the life extension technology will make it so. It is not necessary for this technology to be available to you, you are simply not part of the important class. But remember all the presents you have received, and all the presents that are coming for you in the months and years ahead! Soon, you will own nothing, and you will be happy!
Merry Christmas, peasants!
